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Lucy’s Last Fire

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The call was made, the decision reached. Lucy’s health took a turn that wasn’t sustainable. We all didn’t want to remember Lucy that way and I’m quite sure Lucy didn’t enjoy the state she was in. As a family we made the decision to have Lucy put to sleep on June 9th 2010.

There was no joy in the decision but perhaps a tinge of relief that we had finally made the one we all dreaded. I’m quite sure we all wanted her to die in her sleep at home but that was not to be – strong bugger. So we spent Monday evening and Tuesday saying our goodbyes, getting in last pats and snuggle time, giving treats that would not be given again and even food that was forbidden due to her allergies. Lots of tears and raw emotions flowed.

As it turned out Tuesday night/Wednesday morning was quite chilly in New England. When I awoke at 4:30 AM to take my son to work I could smell a wood fire burning through our open windows. A wood stove fire in June – wow! As I made my way into the kitchen I realized that the wood stove fire was ours – my son’s final gesture to his friend and companion was to build her one last fire.

During the dead of winter Lucy was addicted to the wood stove. She would lay right in front or on the side for hours, getting up only to drink and eat and go out. The image of Lucy sleeping in front of the wood stove is one that is etched on our collective memories so this was a totally appropriate gesture on a totally appropriate night.

The effort on my son’s part must have been substantial. To my knowledge he’s never built and started a fire in the wood stove in his life. I know from personal experience that getting one started isn’t easy. There’s a technique to getting it started and then kept going. For all I know he mothered that fire until it was capable of sustaining itself. The bellows were not in their usual spot so I know he had difficulty getting it going. Regardless the gesture was genuine, heart felt and one that reflected his cherished memories of Lucy.

I took my son to work and promised to keep the fire going for Lucy. I added another log or two when I got back and went to bed until it was 8 AM. By 9 AM we were all ready for Lucy’s last ride to the Vet. We all went and we all stayed to the end. I couldn’t have been there by myself and I’m glad that everyone opted to stay. I’m sure it comforted Lucy, not to mention each other in some way. She went quick and by all appearances quietly. We were all holding on to her as she went.

I know Lucy enjoyed the fire and it’s a memory I’ll always carry with me – my son’s love and devotion and Lucy’s last fire. A week hence and the emotions are a little less raw, the habits fading, but the eyes play tricks on me as I think I see Lucy from time to time out of their corners. I miss my constant companion and friend.


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